Normal, Well-Developed

 According to my EEG, I have normal well-developed (or something like that) background brain activity, so at least no one can accuse me of being weird or lacking when it comes to background brain activity. I was thinking back to the last time I "spaced out" and threw a paintbrush and it's not happened since the springtime. In June my cardiologist put me on a nerve pain medication to make me sleep properly and to heal my autonomic nervous system and ever since I haven't had any problems with throwing drawing implements.

They say that being tired can worsen or bring about a seizure and I'm guessing that my years and years of sleep deprivation have probably always been to blame for the times of my life where I've had focal (just one arm) or absent (staring off into space) seizures. They may subject me to longer testing to see if they can record any abnormal activity in a longer period of time, but the concern isn't that I have epilepsy or anything that severe. They just think I have brain damage possibly from not sleeping or my immune system - not great either but I'll take it.

I read a lot of my own medical notes these days and think it's always funny how I'm described. I know they are clinical terms but I want a t-shirt that says "7 out of 7 doctors think I'm pleasant and well-developed." No? Just me?

Anyway, I guess the next thing is an MRI, but we're still waiting to hear from Swedish Medical Center in regards to whether the metal implants I received there 25 years ago are MRI-safe or not. They're next to my spine so that's rather important and my neurologist won't order the MRI until we know. I'm sure they are, but they want confirmation. Understandable since MRI machines are very expensive and it's very difficult to repair a human who has had their spine ripped out (unlikely to happen, but sounds very funny [to me, anyway]).

This week I've been getting ready for Illuxcon which happens next weekend. It's been one of those weeks where everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. Monday, I don't even remember what the calamity was on Monday. Oh, that's right - it was everything possible that morning. Mostly my dogs conspired together to treat me very badly on Monday morning. Tuesday it was one thing after another including one of the dogs figuring out how to get out of the yard and chase after the mail truck. I knew I had to order frames on Tuesday at the very latest for my new paintings I want to show at Illuxcon, so I did that first thing in the morning only to discover there was some kind of glitch with Visa cards. I tried over and over to update my order but my card never worked, so I finally had to use my Mastercard to order the damn things and pray the order got in under the wire for Monday delivery. Thankfully they arrived way early on Saturday, otherwise I may have been sitting in the backseat with my framing tools - or just showing paintings without frames. And who can forget - the French press was accidentally shattered on Monday or Tuesday evening. I was dismayed by the prospect of no coffee until next week since I've only recently been able to drink it again (nervous system damage), but even lack of a coffee pot wouldn't stop me. I grew up in a place where it snowed so much we often didn't have electricity, so I know how to do most kitchen things with not much more than a cast iron skillet, wood fire, a measuring cup, and a mesh strainer. At least I could use the electric kettle, but it was cold enough most of the week that I could have used the wood stove if I had to. Thankfully the new French press arrived earlier than expected as well and my calamitous week turned around really nicely.

I just spent too much time looking through old photos trying to find any pictures of the incredible snowload we would get where I grew up, but it was so commonplace I rarely ever took photos. I mean, how often do you take pictures of the ground where you are? But I did find a bunch of photos from 8-12 years ago of "Christmas" (really more like Jul/Yule, but, yunno) at my grandmother's house which made me really homesick and sad. I was already homesick, just as I am most days. I used to paint so many winter scenes and then something really odd happened between 2014 and 2016 and I ended up in Georgia. I think I wasn't sleeping much then either and thought I needed a change of scenery when what I really needed was sleep medication.

Winter was always my favorite season and I really miss the snow but most of all the feeling of being cozy inside. I miss the smell of hot coffee and woodsmoke in the morning, which you can smell here too but it just hits different when it's -20 outside. I miss waking up under 3 blankets and a pile of cats and dogs, the quiet of a house covered in snow, and how pretty Yule decorations are against a snowy backdrop. It never feels like Christmas, Yule, Hanukkah, or even New Year's Eve here. I've really missed holidays that feel like holidays, and if I could find a way home for the holidays, I'd jump at the opportunity.

Alas, I will just have to revisit my winter paintings and start working on a new one (I started it and will be bringing "Little Thief" to Illuxcon). It is past time that I get to work on Christmas/Yule images and I am dying to get started. I have a big, elaborate painting on the easel right now and as soon as it is finished for Illuxcon I'll finish 1 or 2 more watercolor pin-ups and then start a new oil painting - a WINTER oil painting!

On Friday evening I posted the collectors' preview for Illuxcon and two of the pieces sold right away. If I have time I may try to get a few more watercolor pin-ups ready to take with me. If you're interested in any of the pieces in the collectors' preview make sure to e-mail Tatiana at TDArtGallery.com - she's my representative. Otherwise hopefully I'll see you at Illuxcon and expect an entry about Illuxcon in early November at the latest.