It's the first day of autumn. I've never really gotten used to the seasons here in Georgia. I hoped that after being here a few years I'd adjust to it, but it still feels wrong. It's forecast to be in the 90s again today, although it will cool off by about 20 degrees later in the week. My brain clearly thinks it is summer, and the part that knows it isn't supposed to be is clearly offended. For years I lived where it wouldn't be unusual to have snow by the first weekend of October and the wrongness of 90 degrees in autumn has just never fully worn off.
The equinox just about marks three months now since I (finally) started taking medication for my "brain problems." We still don't know what caused the brain problems, but my neurology appointment is finally in the next three weeks, along with pulmonology and endocrinology. I think we're finally getting closer to an answer. Three months of actually sleeping does something magical to a human who hasn't properly slept for years.
I used to have this vague recollection that I was a different person. I knew that I must have had more energy, because I worked all day, cooked healthy meals three times a day, worked out, cleaned the house, and took care of a toddler. Over the last few years I was lucky if I managed to cook once and work a few hours a day at most. I couldn't remember things that I liked to eat or even some of the recipes that I'd made at least once a week for years in my 20s. Didn't know the names of bands that I liked, misplaced a lot of my belongings, forgot how to run my business, and in general just sort of fell apart. I knew it must have been different before, or was that just the passing of time adding sweetness to memory, and I was actually always a mess?
Recently I started remembering these things. I started listening to The Pretty Reckless again, cooking the turkey chili I'd made for years, and finding myself able to make business decisions again. I suddenly have so much energy for organizing and cleaning the house and now I have years of decluttering to catch up on compounded by inheriting the bulk of my grandparent's furniture and belongings.
I also remember a lot of other things that have left me a little perturbed. I really liked living in Montana. How did I even come up with the decision to move to Georgia? Okay, there were a lot of practical pros and cons at the time, and I do think that it put me in a position to buy property that appreciated enough for me to buy a nicer property in Montana. So I can't be too mad at myself for that. But I also really loved my friends and being able to go home to Washington for the weekend if I wanted to. How did I put all of that aside?
In hindsight now I think things were spinning out of control in 2015 and that's when it really started. By 2016 my cognitive issues had started to really cascade and I dismissed a lot of it as needing to have my thyroid medication adjusted and needing a change of scenery. I'm not mad that I moved to Georgia, though. I actually think being here meant that I had access to medical care I might not have ever received in Montana. And like I said, we were able to get a larger house, sell it for a profit, buy an even bigger house, and it looks like we might even be able to double our money on this house if the market holds out long enough.
Living in Georgia also gave me a better understanding of where my husband is from, and why he doesn't like it here (LOL), and it also meant that I got to meet some of his extended family. He has a really big family, though, and there are a lot of people I've still never met. I am also glad that I have experienced life in a place where you can garden year-round. It presents a lot more challenges than I realized it would and gives me a better appreciation for a garden season that lasts one season, ends with cooler weather and a canning frenzy, and gives you a whole season off. There are also so many bugs here, and they all want to eat my garden. I gave up on it this year.
That said we are swiftly coming up on my favorite time of year here. Autumn in Georgia is usually long, gloriously colorful, cool but not too cold, and often very misty, foggy, dark, and gloomy. And I love all of that.
If I have any complaints about living in the Pacific Northwest it's that spring and autumn are too short, if you get either at all. So many springs were snowy until they were blazing hot and dry, so many autumns cut short by an Indian summer that turned into winter overnight. I love those foggy leaf-crunchy autumn walks and the bird-chirping flower-blooming spring days the most. I like those transitional periods, the times between the main events, more than the main event.
Life is just one big transitional phase right now, and I can't wait to see what comes next.
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